Me and God

Sometimes my relationship with God is:

• Exciting
• An Adventure
• Learning New Things about Him
  
• Memorable
• Wonderful
• Amazing

And sometimes our relationship is:

• Full of Changes
• Intense
  
• Learning Lessons
• Painful
  

Sometimes it is a little bit of both mixed together. Lately God and I have been doing a lot of talking. He's been showing me some areas that I need to surrender up to Him and areas that need to be improved on. I know that in the long run and in the end, all these things are going to deepen my relationship with Him and make me stronger in Him. But right now it's hard.

One of the things I need to work on is being quick to listen and slow to respond. I can easily get frustrated or assume the worse when I do that in reverse: when I am quick to speak and slow to listen. It's easier said than done. Being quick to listen means I have to listen not only to the words that are being spoken, but also put into the equation what else is going on in the situation.

Another thing God is showing me, is how to respond through Him and not through myself. When I respond to things through my own will, I base that response on what is happening around me. If it's good, then my response is good. If there is tension, my response is short. God is showing me that I need to respond through Him. For me that means basing all my responses (verbal and nonverbal) on the Fruit of the Spirit. Responding out of love and joy. Having peace and patience in everything I do. Showing kindness in my actions. Letting my motives and actions be good. Being faithful and following through. Speaking with gentleness. And having self control on my thoughts, my tongue and my actions.

I've noticed that there are times when I'm really happy and then 5 minutes later, I'm not. And I keep asking myself: Why am I not always happy? Well first off, that is the wrong question to ask. The better question is: How can I have joy through it all? The reason happiness can't last forever is because happiness is circumstantial. Where as Joy is a heart decision that does not change with the weather. It is a transformation of the heart to choose joy always! God always talks about Joy and it is always accompanied with the Lord, never circumstances.

The Lord is my strength and shield.I trust him with all my heart.He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalms 28:7

Let the godly sing for joy to the Lord;it is fitting for the pure to praise him. Psalms 33:1

But give great joy to those who came to my defense.Let them continually say, “Great is the Lord,who delights in blessing his servant with peace!” Psalms 35:27

What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord,who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. Psalms 84:5

You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me!I sing for joy because of what you have done. Psalms 92:4

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Philipians 4:4

So you received the message with joy from the Holy Spirit in spite of the severe suffering it brought you. In this way, you imitated both us and the Lord. I Thessalonians 1:6

God, I'm a piece of clay. Please do not allow me to be molded by the world. I pray I am molded into the vessel You want me to be.

Reflections

Yesterday was a long day, mentally. I was in finals from 8am til 2:30. I had finals in 3 of my most challenging classes: Spanish (8am), History (10:30-12:30), and Psychology (1-3). But now it's over! First year of college is complete! It is a cool thing to look back over the past two semesters and all the things I have learned. I feel a sense of accomplishment for sticking with it and finishing! Only 3 more years to go!

Now I'm on to maymester. Theater appreciation will be on my plate for 15 days. As well as working on getting things ready for Highland Day Camp to begin! I'm looking forward to both. May is going to be quite busy. I do have a bright spot in the midst of this! In the second week of June my family is going to the beach for a week! Family, sun, sand and fun!